Free Marriage Advice Part 1 - Keeping Communication Lines Open

I am not the director of any marriage counseling services nor have I written any marriage counseling books. I do not have a degree in marriage and relationship counseling neither am I a marriage therapist. What I am though is a man who has been married for almost twenty years and has learned a thing or two along the way. Unfortunately, I learned it the hard way. Not by sitting in a classroom on my way to becoming a marriage and family counselor, but by falling and failing my way to success. So think of this as your place for free marriage advice from a man who has received his degree from the School Of Hard Knocks.

I am often asked, “What does it take to make a marriage work?”

I wish I could give you a magical answer but I do not have any. What I can give you are principles I have learned the past two decades of marriage.

Principle # 1 - Develop Good Communication Skills.

I know this is no new revelation. Any marriage article you read will tell you communication is key to a healthy relationship. I mention it because it is a truth that can not be stressed enough.

Before we move on let me tell you what communication is not.

• It is not screaming, hollering and cursing.
• It is not telling everyone but your spouse how you feel..
• It is not minimizing your spouses feelings or degrading them to make you feel better.

*KEYS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION*

• Truthful and tactful. - I feel it necessary to join these two together. Many people use the guise of truthfulness as a means to be harmful in what they say. Be honest about how you feel without causing damage to your spouse and the relationship

• Motivated by love - The focus of communication in marriage should not be “winning” an argument but rather keeping the love between the two of you strong and intact.

• Timing. Knowing when to say something is often as important as knowing what to say.

• Open-Mindedness - We all like to think we are right. Effective communication requires that we be open minded to the feelings, opinions and concerns of others.

• Consistency - If you and your spouse communicate with each other on a consistent basis it will allow the lines of communication to always be open. Upon doing this you will have laid the ground work for a successful marriage.

I hope you have enjoyed the first installment of Free Marriage Advice. Before you leave, be sure to leave a comment and tell me what you think of this article. And while you’re at it, check out some of my other articles on Marriage and Building Healthy Relationships.